I had the Homecoming Dinner at our house for my daughters group. I was able to serve a very elegant dinner for not a lot of money. It saved all the kids money not having to go out to eat, but it also gave the girls less time in those high heel shoes that they all love….and love to complain about.

I made Pappardelle Beef Ragu. I even bought a much bigger roast than she called for since I was going to have a group, plus enough for us. I didn’t do homemade pasta, I don’t have the machine for it. Instead I did rigatoni pasta, which also works well with this rustic pasta sauce. I served it with a salad and some bread. The whole meal set me back just under $25.

The meal ended up serving the 6 kids. Once they were gone, my husband and I ate with his parents. Then we took some of the left overs and saved them for lunch for the next day. The left over sauce we bagged up and put in the freezer. It will easily be enough for our family.

Last minute I realized I had not done any kind of a center piece. So I ran outside, since the trees are so beautiful this time of year and started grabbing leaves…off the tree of course, not off the ground, you just never know. I was able to put together this quick little center piece for FREE.

In order for the girls to get to show off their dresses, they went out to dessert at the local yogurt shop. It was super affordable and they could take as long as they wanted, or hurry if they needed.

It was a pretty affordable evening. My daughter didn’t even ask to buy a dress for this. She simply came home with 3 dresses from 3 different friends and chose one. We have worked hard in the past to save on formal events.

Entertaining guests can be a Money4This expense, but you need to know it can be done very elegantly, making it a Not4That.

Linked to Frugal Friday

Many people start thinking about college when the kids are Juniors. Those that are really on the ball might even start when the kids are Sophomores. It’s kind of hard to think about your child starting high school and leaving home all at the same time. We as parents like to live in denial that it’s coming to an end.

But we can’t….

When the kids start high school there are many things you need to be thinking through for your child.

Have high schools kids get involved. This could be any number of things. Once you start filling out college applications or once you start applying for scholarships you will see right away they want to know what you have done. How you have been involved? Are you part of clubs through the school? Start these things and and work on them throughout your high school career.

Suggestions ::

• Sports
• Music
• Drama
• Art
• Technology Club

Volunteer. Get involved in your community, your church or even in your school.

Suggestions ::

• Local Library
• Senior Center
• Local Zoo
• Helping your church with summer programs
• Helping in your church on a monthly basis
• Go on a short term missions trip
• Work on a City wide clean up day
• Local shelters

Start Organizations. This one is for the very driven and very called individuals. But it seems like you read about stories of teens that have felt compelled to start something to provide for a need. If your child sees a need help them try and start something. Be the first one to believe in them.

Suggestions ::

• Start clubs at schools. At our school all clubs are student organized and run. Pick something you love and run with it.
• Fill a need at a senior center. Making cards or weekly computer help.
• Fill a need to the homeless. Do food and clothing drives.

Stand out. Get involved and be about something that will make you stand out. I know this might seem vague, but when kids find things they are passionate about they want to get involved and figure out a way to further provide for the need.

Suggestion ::

Don’t just do one of the things listed above, do many of the things listed above. Remember you will have 4 years to make it happen. Four years to find something you enjoy and 4 years to add to your list of accomplishments.

My list consists of common things kids can do and have done. What are some other things that your kids are doing?

Now you take all these things and you add them to college applications, or you put the experiences on your scholarship essays. The more you are “about” the more money you will get. My daughter has not been able to apply for certain scholarships because she lacks enough experiences. I hope we can change things for our son. I also hope I can give you enough information to get the ideas flowing in your household.

Part 1 :: I touched on how the ACT and SAT scores help you get scholarships. I also talked about how it’s worth paying a tutor since it will pay for itself.

There are many things that the university financial aid offices think you should do like ::

• Sell your house
• Sell off your property
• Sell a kidney
• Quit eating
• Cancel your insurance

You know, they look at your income and think you have money and assets and therefore you should be able to pay for college too.  Yeah because we have an extra $30, 000 laying around.

Really though, we have to come up with the money because we have not saved for it. My daughter is a senior this year, and the reason why we are working on it now is because she will apply for lots of scholarships. Most scholarships will only award to seniors. She has done a few, but mostly she has worked on a list of the ones she is going to be able to apply for this year.

The truth is, it starts way before the scholarships  ::

• The first thing we found with each college is it’s all about the GPA and the ACT or SAT score.  Did you know that if you score high on both you can be awarded an instant $5,000-$9,000, depending on the college of course.
• Once the kids hit high school it’s go time. They need to understand right at that point that they need to have at least a 3.60 GPA. Most scholarships look for that number.  Yes some are higher and some are even lower, but this is just a great number to shoot for, especially if you have an average student. My daughter managed to get hers just a little higher.
• The  pre ACT and SAT testing starts early on. We are having our sophomore son take the PSAT just so he gets the idea of what the test will look like and feel like.

Now, here’s a bit of information about these tests. Did you know that these tests are not done to test your academic knowledge necessarily? Psychologists designed the tests to see if you can handle college.

Many kids now days will have a tutor work with them so they can get a higher score on these tests. The tutors are not teaching them math, science or writing. Instead they are teaching them how the tests are done and how to score higher based on the way they are written.

If my daughter can get her ACT score up by 5 points she will qualify for a lot more money. So hiring a tutor would definitely be worth it, Money4This. Although, my in laws have chosen to get the book, buy some tests and tutor her, and let me tell you, it’s working.

Here’s another fact for you. SAT were common on the west coast and ACT were common on the east coast. So there are still many kids here that won’t even take the ACT because they think the SAT’s are the only thing accepted. Truth is many colleges, check with yours first, because not all, but many, will accept both tests.

The tests are very different, according to my daughter. She chose to do the ACT because she thought it was much easier. She has been working on that test ever since. As a senior she will take the test one final time in October. Most of the testing is done in the junior year. She tested late and there are no summer tests done, so we had to wait for the fall. Juniors should start testing in the spring.

Keep checking back for tips on paying for your child’s college education. I will give you a list of places to start looking for scholarships and some books that have helped us in writing a great scholarship.

First off you need to decide if you are going to pay for their education or if you are going to ask them to help.

Linked to Frugal Friday

The school year has either started or nearly started and out comes the question….

Should we pay our children if they get good grades? And if you do, how much is too much?

PROS of paying for grades

• If your child has been slacking it will hopefully help them keep the grades up
• Gives your kids a goal to work towards
• It’s a way for them to earn a little extra cash
• It’s not like getting good grades is a bad thing, so you are supporting something really great.
• Some parents say it’s like their version of a job and they are being compensated for good work.

CONS of paying for grades

• The kids might earn grades for the wrong reasons. For the money not the satisfaction of a job well done.
• Your tax dollars, or if they are at a private school, your money, pays for their education, why pay more?
• Once you start, you can’t really stop or can you?
• One child might easily get A’s while the other child will struggle to get C’s. It won’t seem fair especially since what I’ve seen in my house is the kid that gets C’s is the one working harder than the one that gets easy A’s.
• You might become too afraid to stop the cash flow afraid they won’t keep the grades up on their own.
• It’s not a job, it’s something that they have to do. How many people in the work force get bonuses every semester for doing a job they are expected to do?
• If that money becomes the motivation for getting good grades through elementary school, middle school and high school, won’t they also expect to be paid in college?

If you choose to pay them how much do you decide to pay??

After some research this is what I found ::

• I saw everything from A’s only to the kids had to pay the parents if they got a C or D.
• I saw amounts from 50¢ all the way to $20 for an A and $100+ for straight A’s.

So if you choose to pay, how much do you think is realistic?

Not only does this topic have lots of controversy, but there have also been many studies done to show how it effects kids. And just so you know, everyone who ran the study got the result that THEY wanted. So yes, those that were against paying for grades saw the downside and those for paying for grades saw the benefits.

As I was reading through different sites I saw many different opinions and perspectives. My favorite was the one kid blaming his parent for not paying for grades. He had to get a job to pay for things because they didn’t give him money and that made his life miserable.

Wow, after reading a blaming statement like that it makes me glad I have saved your my kids’ therapy for after they leave home. They really might need it.

There are many different solutions answers and resolutions. What it comes down to is this…do what is right for you, your child and even your family.

So let me ask you. Do you pay for grades? I might not be the best person to ask because I don’t even pay my kids to do chores.

That is the question……

Now I am just trying to find the answer.

I just came across this website that mocked all the senior picture poses from years gone by. You know what I’m talking about. Leaning against a ladder, like it’s something you do every day. Or snuggled up against a wall, because that’s what we did in the ’80′s.

Senior picture ideas have come a long ways since I was in high school and thank goodness for that.

One reason they have come so far is that more and more kids are picking up digital cameras and messing around until they get the shot they want. I have so many pictures of my daughter. Even the one at the top is a self portrait that she took with my iPhone, you should see what she can do with a real camera.

There are 2 ways to do Senior pictures.

1. Hire a professional with the starting price of about $500
2. Hire a teen that has taken on the love of photography.

My daughter really wanted professional pictures taken. And I understand, but once I started looking around I was pretty bummed about what you get in a session/package.

1. Only 2 outfit changes (not a lot for a girl)
2. The cheapest package only contained about 5-6 pictures. I am sure if you upgraded you could get the disk with all the pictures, but at $500 for the smallest package, I didn’t want to look any further.

Problem with #2 in our house is that our daughter is just that, the photographer. She has done senior pictures for her friends and she has even helped shoot a wedding. I know her stuff is amazing, so why would I hire a professional.

All I would have to do is talk her into it and have her find a friend to pull it off.

Because this is for her I approached her with the idea of doing her own. She would have so many more outfits, she could do them at any location and more if she wanted and order any pictures she wanted.

She left upset…

Then came back with a great proposition.

• She found a friend to help her do her senior pictures and asked if I would give him a little money to help. (He’s done some senior pictures for friends as well.)  I agreed to that, simply because my daughter also charges to take senior pictures. Not much, but once you take time to edit them and put them on a disk, it’s time consuming, not to mention the photo shoot itself.
• Then she asked if I would buy one special outfit for her senior pictures.

DONE!!!!

I didn’t just come to this whole decision completely on my own…

I have friends who have kids older than my kids. They have gone before me, if you will. I asked them what the right thing to do was. They both said, “don’t spend a ton of money, just get some good pictures.”

Senior pictures are important. They should not be skipped, they should not be avoided. But… they are not the end all picture that you will have of that child. I know for a fact that my daughter will continue to photograph her and her friends, capturing memories and making for much better pictures.

I will keep my ’80′s pictures of me standing next to an old wooden fence (in a studio), but they won’t be quite as special as hers.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Should we as parents be spending $500-$1000 on senior pictures for our kids?

Linked to Frugal Friday

This week we celebrated our 21 year anniversary and my daughter officially became a senior. My son is done with school for the year and will transfer from a private Christian school to the public school with his sister.

I like to think I am fairly calm about all this. The marriage thing is a no brainer. My husband and I have been blessed with an amazingly easy marriage. We love being together and hate being apart. He works from home, so it’s all good.

I am a little frantic about having a senior in high school, I still like to think of her as my little girl. Although I have many friends, and I am sure many of you, that have gone before me on this journey, so I will have lots of experience to draw upon. I will continue to “wing it” as a parent, grab wisdom from friends, pray like crazy and I am sure we will get through.

This is going to be quite a busy year for my daughter. She is looking at a private Christian college.  Can you say $37,000 without skipping a heartbeat?  I am pretty much freaking out, but this is the route she wants to go. We are going to pay for some of her schooling, but she is going to have to step up to the plate as well. As we go through the process I will be sure to share that with some of you as well.

I don’t like change, so I am not thrilled to be leaving our school that I have known for 12 years. (my daughter started there in kindergarten.) Sometimes it feels like I need to be talked off the ledge. The cost of private school is just too much. My daughter willingly chose to switch as a junior in to the public school. She did very well. She went from 30 in her to class to 450. My son will probably be fine (see the mother in me is over protective).

I know this time of year brings about change for lots of people. Change in schedules and change in our kids’ lives.

I don’t know where I am really going with this post, except to say change is on the way. Learning new ways to save money and put away money for college will be on the forefront.

What kind of milestones or changes does June bring for you??

We have spent the spring looking at colleges and we aren’t even done yet, we are headed to Settle this week to check out more.  It’s crazy the cost of college education.

It’s also crazy to hear people talk about college now. It’s different than it used to be. Many are arguing that getting a degree is not worth going $100,000 in debt especially since they can get the same degree from accredited online universities. If our kids decide to go, or we as parents push them to go… who ends up paying for it?

Let me preface this whole thing by saying that we put our kids in private school all through elementary, junior high and some of their high school.  Because we did that we don’t have money put aside for college.

What We Will Pay?

I am a firm believer in making kids pay for their own college education. Well, most of it. Here is the deal we have with our daughter. She has to come up with half of tuition. Although she is looking at pretty expensive schools, so that’s still a lot for us to come up with. We have worked hard to teach our kids the value of money and this is no exception.

Why Half?

1. It’s super expensive and that’s a lot to deal with now and after graduation
2. Give her ownership in her education

How Paying for Their Education Helps Them

Kids need to get out of the house. Get that break from mom and dad and grow up a little. College is a perfect transition for this.

It gives them a chance at a good life doing something they will enjoy.

My freshman year of college was my favorite year of my life. I got out of the house, was on my own, but still under some leadership and had many boundaries as a freshman at a small private college. My social life was super important, but I also tried hard to keep my grades up with the end goal…a degree.

How Paying for Their Education Hurts Them

When parents pay for everything kids have a lot less invested. They may not care as much about how well they do.

They might treat it like summer camp and not study much.

All college students are poor (well for the most part). Paying for everything doesn’t allow them to learn to budget and live within those boundaries.

I had a roommate that slept all day. She never put much effort into it because she had always had everything given to her and this was just another one of those things. She had no investment. If she failed a class mom and dad would pay to have her take it again.

We all know that college life is the party life and we are finding this to be the case at private schools as well. They need to get hit where it counts to make some good decisions. That’s not saying they won’t party, it’s just saying they will limit their partying to non test days, or at least we hope. When they go in to buy books themselves or sign on the line for their debt, they just might work a little harder.

Is College for Everyone?

This is a tough one. I have recently heard from a few people who didn’t go to college and they regret it. They regret missing out on that transition in their lives, but also getting an education that sends them on path. Some of these kids are still living at home because they aren’t making enough to live on their own.

Others have no clue what they are doing and spending that kind of money is pointless after a few years. That’s assuming you spend your first few years getting all your basics out of the way.

Some kids figure it out early on and earn more than most middle class adults. With so much money to be made on the internet why get a degree when you are already bringing in 6 figures.  It’s few and far between, but it’s out there.

Others argue that most people that get degrees don’t end up in the same career as their degrees. That’s us here. While some people say it’s important just to have A degree, is that degree worth $100,000.

How Can You/They Pay for College?

As a junior, my daughter has already begun working on scholarships. Her grandparents have said they can’t financially help her with college education, but we can help her with her scholarships, and they have taken that on with her.

Many scholarships are offered to seniors only, but she has started applying for a few. She is working on quite a few essay scholarships. What this is allowing her to do is have stuff already written. Once you have written some can be re done or just resubmitted. The beauty of cut and paste.

She has her list and due dates. Like I said, Grandma and Grandpa are doing all this with her. They are not local, they are doing this all through email and phone calls. It’s a great bonding time and it’s super helpful for us.

For us loans are a last resort. We, meaning my daughter and G&G, are going to apply to as many as they can and see how much they can bring in.

I am not alone in my thinking. I have found others that are questioning if we, as parents, should pay for our kids’ college education. If we do pay, then we need to decide how much.

What do you think? Or for those of you with adult children, what did you do?

When it comes to teaching a child about money and the value of a dollar, it can almost never be too early. Just the other day, my three year old threw a major tantrum in our local Target because he just “had to have” a random toy that carried an $85 price tag. No reason, really. It wasn’t like he asked to put it on his Christmas or birthday wish list. He wanted it right then, insisting over and over again that he “needed it,” then melted down in front of a store full of people.

If only my son could understand that mommy and daddy aren’t made of money. He isn’t quite old enough to fully understand what money is, how it works and the value of a dollar, but that doesn’t mean I can’t start trying to teach him a few things. It is always good to start educating them while they are young, and there are a variety of activities that can help a child grasp a better understanding of money.

Usually, it takes kids a few years before children really “get it.” A good way to start money awareness is to establish a savings account for the child as soon as their social security number is assigned. Next, purchase some sort of piggy bank while a child is very young and encourage them to continue putting spare change in it. Small children may not understand saving money, per se, but they understand the concept of having a lot of something and saving up a lot of change will strike them as neat.

A game that my three year old really enjoys is “treasure hunt.” Once in a while, I will gather up loose change that is sitting around the house and in my car, purse or husband’s junk drawer and I will place it in different spots around the house. Then, flashlight in hand, my son pretends to be on a treasure hunt and gathers up all of the change he can find in a basket. He deposits it all to his piggy bank and we count it together. He is still too young to understand exactly how much money he has or what one cent versus twenty-five cents is, but at least he is now familiar with terms like pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, deposit, savings, etc. We encourage him to fill up his piggy bank and when it’s full, we take it to our local financial institution and deposit it into his account.

Once kids are a little older, they will have learned how to count money in school and then they can really begin to grasp the idea of saving and spending. In families where there are multiple children, one way to encourage the concepts of saving is to establish good-natured competitions between the siblings. Have each child set a savings goal for themselves. Their goal can be to save up for a special toy, spending money for a family vacation or maybe even the cost of visiting a local skating rink or inflatable kid center. On a weekly basis, have each child count how much they have earned. Obviously, the kids can earn money different ways and it will vary based on the child’s age and ways they can earn money (i.e. chores, babysitting, etc.). A simple chart depicting each child’s progress can be kept somewhere prominent, like the refrigerator, as motivation.

Once kids are in middle and high school, school shopping can become a true learning experience when it comes to the value of a dollar. The way to set it up is to define a very specific dollar amount as the absolute maximum that can be spent on new clothes or supplies for school. Allow the child to shop around for what they want, so long as they stay within the budget. With a little parental guidance, the teen will begin to see that through sales, coupons, and other deals they can purchase much more than if they pay full retail and only shop at trendy stores. The value of the dollar becomes more apparent through an activity they enjoy.

Teaching a child about money and money management certainly isn’t easy, but it’s a life skill that is incredibly important and will benefit them in the long-run. What they learn as a child sets the foundation for their spending and saving habits as adults.

Maria Rainier is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at First in Education where she writes about education, online degrees, and what it takes to succeed as a student taking a bachelors degree program remotely from home. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

For more ways to teach kids about money check out my whole section on Kids & Money.

photo curtousy of adam*b@flickr

Alright this is a legit question and I have friends on both sides of the fence.

One side says, “It makes my life easier and less running around for me.”

The other group says, “I am NOT going to just hand them a car, they need to earn it or pay for it or have some responsible part in it.”

I see both sides and I guess the decision has been pretty easy for us. We have 2 cars. My husband works from home most days, therefore allowing my daughter to drive herself to school some days or have access to it, pretty much, whenever she needs it.

We are not mechanical at all, so buying a $500 car is not a good idea for us. Spending the money on a car and having insurance on a 3rd car is not high on our list. Not that we don’t have the money, it’s just I don’t want to hand my child a car.

When you just give things to your kids it gives them a sense of entitlement. I have worked for years trying to get my kids to not have a sense of entitlement. We have tried to teach them the value of money.

Let’s say you do buy the car and give it to your child. It helps you and it makes life so much easier. Some of you might throw in running errands for you as part of their “pay.”

Then does your child pay for anything? Insurance? Gas? Repairs? Do they have any responsibility with this car that is “theirs?”

We haven’t gotten our daughter a car and it has not been an issue, at all. She has had her license for a year and a half.

I guess part of it comes from the way I was raised. I was not given a car in high school. I didn’t work much, so I didn’t have a ton of money and could only afford a motorcycle. That was my means of transportation.

I went off to college and my second year in my parents decided to give me their car. It was a ’78 Ford Thunderbird. To this day I don’t know if it was a blessing or a curse. (It was similar to the middle car in the picture above.) Nonetheless it was a car, a whole lot of car too.

So what do you think? Have you purchased a car for your child? Do they pay anything? Or have you chosen to have them share a car?

Read more to see what Frugal Dad has to say. We have been on the same page lately, pretty funny.

Over the years I have gone back and forth over “if” and “how much” I will pay me kids, but there are some things I just won’t pay my kids to do.

I firmly believe that my kids are part of this family and because of that they need to help out.  Unfortunately for my kids they have a mom with a bad back and so they “get” to pitch in even more.

I will on occasion pay if they do extra, but these are things I would NEVER pay my kids to do:

1. Clean their room - This is their mess that they made and it’s their job to keep it clean, if you don’t keep it clean, then don’t complain about lost things.
2. Walk the dog and clean up after the dog or any pet – this is a responsibility, not a chore.  If you own a pet, you must take care of it.  Mom and dad pay to keep it fed, no need to pay to have it loved.
3. Clean up their toy mess – If your child gets something out, let them put it away.  Even little ones can help.  My teens clean up after themselves, always have, although that doesn’t mean they are good at it.
4. Put their dishes in the dishwasher – Since I cooked, I appreciate the help.  Any child can put a dish in the dishwasher. I will not pay them to rinse off a plate.
5. Laundry – I do most of the laundry, but my kids know if they need something and I don’t know about it, they need to start the laundry themselves.  Why would I pay them to clean their own shirt?

I know this might seem hard core to some, but like I stated in the beginning, a lot that happens at our house is kids pitching to help out the family.

What other things would you add to this list?

This is what Works for Me and my family.